Chapter 4 - Tex, Lies & Videotape

CHAPTER FOUR

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable

Failure" George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Tex, Lies And Videotape

After the pondering came the excuses…

9:05–9:12 AM

The 7 Minutes On Video Tape

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“More than anyone, leaders should welcome being held accountable.

Nothing builds confidence in a leader more than a willingness to take

responsibility for what happens during his watch.”

—RUDOLPH GIULIANI “LEADERSHIP”

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Columbo

Airplanes Kill At 8:46, 9:03, 9:38 And 10:03 AM

President does everything in his power at 10:15 am—kind of

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Had I known that the enemy was going to use airplanes to kill on that fateful morning, I would have done everything in my power to protect the American people.” —GEORGE W. BUSH MAY 17, 2002

“I made the pledge to myself and to people that I’m

not going to forget what happened on September 11.”

—GEORGE BUSH

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush wasted over 100 minutes during the attacks, so it was a godsend for the president that the seven minutes in the classroom turned up on video. Instead of needing to defend every chunk of time he flushed down the toilet, Bush only had to manufacture excuses for the seven minutes and, of course, his narrow escape to Louisiana and Nebraska. George Bush didn’t forget 9/11—he just remembers it in many different ways. He and his apologists don’t miss a possible rationalization for his classroom freeze-up.

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

A Kinder Gentler Defense

Bush: Instincts Took Over

Used same finely tuned senses drilling for oil in Texas—and dumping stock

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“The President told us his instinct was to project calm, not to have the country see an excited reaction in a moment of crisis. The national press corps was standing behind the children in the classroom; he saw their phones and pagers start to ring. The President felt he should project strength and calm until he could better understand what was happening.” —9/11 COMMISSION

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“I'm not a textbook player, I’m a gut player.”

—GEORGE BUSH

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

X George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Fiddler:

Bush sat and did nothing while the Trade Center towers burned and planes drew a bead on other targets, and he’s proud of it.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Jethro:

Terrorists or hurricanes aren’t going to wait for a soft-headed leader to catch up after he’s done posing.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Delusional omnipotence:

The country could not see him in real time and most people would never see the video. Evidently not considered news, taped TV showings of the president’s strength and calm were rare. Millions of people had to purchase a movie ticket for the documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 to witness the presidential deportment. It was the first Pay-for-View event of a president sitting in a chair.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Girlie man:

Projection of calm saved zero lives, but al Qaeda and terrorist appeasers were happy with the president’s restraint.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Claptrap:

Bush could have easily left the room and done his job minus an excited reaction. Had he done that funny walk he does all the time—the one where he pretends like he has a softball under each armpit—he would have gotten a big laugh from the physical comedy loving tykes.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Twitchy:

Whatever Bush was projecting, it wasn’t strength and calm. Dr. Frist studied the tape and said the president appeared to be conscious, but possibly constipated.

Mighty Mouse

Bush Knew Role As Commander-In-Chief

Responds forcefully after attacks are over—it’s his trademark

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“…and so, I got on the phone from Air Force One, asking to find out the facts. You’ve got to understand, Jordan, during this period of time, there were all kinds of rumors floating around. Some of them were erroneous. Obviously—for example, there was a news report saying that the State Department had been attacked. I needed to know what the facts were. But I knew I needed to act. I knew that if the nation’s under attack, the role of the Commander-In-Chief is to respond forcefully to prevent other attacks from happening. And so, I’ve talked to the Secretary of Defense; one of the first acts I did was to put our military on alert.” —GEORGE BUSH AT TOWNHALL MEETING

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Crying game:

Please understand Jordan, puleeeze. I’m only a man and the facts kept coming and coming and coming. It was a blizzard, a foggy blizzard—a super foggy blizzard of endless information blowing by like…a blizzard. I was helpless, Jordan, I tell ya, it was a living hell, but a cold and blizzard-like hell. You’ve got to beleeeve me, Jordan!

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Plastic Turkey:

Fighter planes were in the air long before Bush ever figured out who the Defense Secretary was. “The grouchy guy—you’re kidding? I’m not talking to that dick.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Learning curve:

Bush didn’t act. He didn’t respond forcefully. Understanding his role after the attacks didn’t save a single life.

Larry King Show— CNN August 12, 2004

Special 4-Part Excuse For The Seven Seated Minutes

Larry King I

Larry! The Little Bastards Were Filibustering, I Tell You!

Plenty Of Time To Defend Country Later

Politeness and pacifism are the cornerstones of our society

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Well, I had just been told by Andrew Card that America was under attack. And I was collecting my thoughts. And I was sitting with a bunch of young kids, and I made the decision there that we would let this part of the program finish, and then I would calmly stand up and thank the teacher and thank the children and go take care of business.” —GEORGE BUSH

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Rewritten history:

Did George go take care of business like he told Larry? Not quite. According to the 9/11 Commission, the only decision made by Bush during the 18 minutes he spent in the school holding room after leaving the classroom photo-op, was to return to D.C.—and to wear his hair up for the speech at 9:30 am.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Loitering:

“Bush lingered until an aide ushered the press out.” --Bill Sammon

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Thin manuscript:

A collection of Bush thoughts.

Don’t Start Without Me

—Ask Them To Circle For A Couple Hours

“Should the military have the authority to shoot down a jet—commercial jetliner? That decision to be made by surrogates?

It’s a decision to be made by the president.”

—ANDREW CARD TO BRIAN WILLIAMS

CNBC SEPTEMBER 9, 2002

Larry King II

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Dumb Waiter X
Bush Figures Out We Are At War

Takes a shiny medal out of petty cash—and some quarters for a Snickers bar

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“And I think what’s important is how I reacted when I realized America was under attack. It didn’t take me long to figure out we were at war. It didn’t take me long to develop a plan that we would go after al Qaeda. We went into action very quickly.” —GEORGE BUSH

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Bush as a Police Officer:

“And I think what’s important is how I reacted when I realized the woman was being tortured and murdered. Although I didn’t try to defend her from the evildoer during the attack per se, it didn’t take me more than a few hours after she died to figure out it was a crime. It didn’t take me long to develop a plan that I would go after the murderer. I went into action very quickly.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Low bar:

Hey, he figured out a name for the conflict; do you expect him to do everything?

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Delicate flower:

Good grief Larry; he wants to use 9/11 as a backdrop for his outstanding leadership—the cornerstone of his administration, but you can’t expect the president to answer questions about the actual day. Softball’s, my butt.

At Least Little George Is In The Majority

People caught up in disasters tend to fall into three categories.

About 10% to 15% remain calm and act quickly and efficiently.

Another 15% completely freak out. Most people do little.

They are “stunned and bewildered.”

—BRITISH PSYCHOLOGIST JOHN LEACH

Larry King III

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Little Appeaser Caesar

Bush: My Actions On 9/11 Not Relevant

Choosing name for conflict most important accomplishment—it was a tossup between war or fracas

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“What is relevant is whether or not I understand and understood then the stakes. And I recognized that we were at war. And I made a determination that we would do everything we could to bring those killers to justice and to protect the American people. That is my most solemn duty.” —GEORGE BUSH

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Air ball:

But he didn’t protect the American people. Bush seems to understand the basic concept of the “doing one’s duty,” but appears to be a little unclear on the follow-through.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Bush the lifeguard:

“It’s not relevant that I sat by as that feller drowned. What’s important is I understood that drowning is bad and recognized the dangers of water, which nobody could have foreseen. As he took his last breath and sunk like a stone, I made a determination to do everything I could to protect folks from drowning on my watch. That is my most solemn duty.”

America Was Impotent Before Bush Too

“The antiseptic notion of launching a cruise missile into some guy’s, you know, tent, really is a joke. I mean, people viewed that as the impotent America…a flaccid, you know, kind of technologically competent but not very tough country that was willing to launch a cruise missile out of a submarine and that’d be it.”

—GEORGE BUSH

Failure to engage the enemy:

Court martial for a real soldier and time in the brig.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Pompous gasbag:

George Bush decides what’s relevant. Not you Larry—or that Constitution thing, written by a bunch of long haired pansies.

Larry King IV

It’s A Hard Knock Life

President Seeks Meaning

Dreams of better days when the rubble grew so very tall…aaah

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

King: “Wasn’t that the hardest seven minutes of your life?” X

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Bush: “Well, there’s been a lot of hard moments in my life.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

King: “But at that moment, to hear that news...”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Bush: “Yes, it was—trying to understand exactly what it meant. But there have been a lot of hard moments. It was hard to go to the ground zero on September the 14th, 2001, and see those workers and police men and women and the firefighters who had been searching the rubble looking for their loved ones. That was a hard moment. But it was a moment where I resolved to them publicly that we would do our duty in government, and protect this country by staying on the offense.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Dense as lead:

Trying to understand what it meant? That’s what the academic types call a red flag—thanks for applying.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

The old switcheroo:

Bush always moves the conversation to his rubble standing on the 14th and the subsequent attack on Afghanistan. He seems to be uncomfortable boasting about the time he kept the country from going into a panic by not standing up. It’s hard to be humble.

If Time Allows

“I will never relent in defending America, whatever it takes.”

—GEORGE BUSH

It’s been torture:

Lots of hard moments? Texas taxpayers bought him a baseball stadium—ouch! And, once he had to fly coach and was asked to fold his shoulders in.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Slacker:

But, he’ll do his duty now that he knows it’s an issue, if you want to make a federal case out of it.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

How about resistance?

Can we still defend ourselves against attacks, or just do the offense?

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

He’s a Doberman:

“And thank you so much for doing a great job this morning,” Tose-Rigell said to the children as she approached Bush. The dawdler in chief did not even get up. —BILL SAMMON “FIGHTING BACK”

“I’m ready to go. Sometimes that’s the way I am—fiery.”

—GEORGE BUSH

And They Make Great Human Shields If You Bend Down Far Enough

Bartlett: President’s Instinct Not To Frighten Children

Wait until the kids in Baghdad get a load of shock & awe

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Whitehouse spokesman Dan Bartlett said that as the president’s staff was trying to learn more about the plane crashes, there was no need to talk to Mr. Bush or pull him away. The president didn’t leave immediately after receiving the news of the second crash from Mr. Card because Mr. Bush’s “instinct was not to frighten the children by rushing out of the room,” the spokesman added. —WALL STREET JOURNAL

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Soul seer?

From his seat in the classroom, how did Bush know his staff was trying to get more facts and why didn’t he know they would be so crappy at it? Twenty-five minutes later he walks to the podium to address the nation no less uninformed and ignorant.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Rooster boy:

Bush didn’t have rush out of the room. He could strut like usual. Or do a cartwheel—who cares?

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Dr. Spock:

Kids don’t get scared when a person leaves a room unless the individual is on fire, singing “Copacabana” and juggling porcupine’s.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Delegating war:

The staff isn’t in charge. Ari and Andy don’t decide if the Commander-in-Chief is needed when the country is under attack.

And Weighs And Weighs

“I am a decisive person. I get the facts, weigh them

thoughtfully and carefully, and decide.”

—GEORGE BUSH

Useless political appendages:

No member of the staff was bright enough to call the FAA or the Defense Department. Many of them are later promoted to high ranking positions at FEMA.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Flash Forward 25 Minutes:

The president gathers the young props around him to tell them the country has been attacked.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

9:05 am—Don’t frighten kids.

9:30 am—Scare the apple juice out of them.

Mr. Sensitive

Anderson: Not Enough Facts To Upset Children

There’s a four fact minimum—Bush Doctrine #5937

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“But without all the facts at hand, George Bush had no intention of upsetting the schoolchildren who had come to read for him.” —CHRISTOPHER ANDERSEN “GEORGE & LAURA”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

What’s the standard?

Does the president need all of the facts before upsetting children, or just a majority of the facts?

Cinderella: 6-Year-Old Kid

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella is an alias. She knows what happens if you deviate from the White House talking points—you get outed as a short, flag burning, middle-schooler with close ties to Hugo Chavez.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “Cinderella, do you know who the President of the United States is?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “George Bush. He wears a tie and has white hair.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “If President Bush was in your classroom to listen to you and your classmates read

and said, “I’m sorry children, but there’s something very important that I have do and I need to leave,” would you be scared, Cinderella?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “No.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “Would you be mad?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “No.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “Would you be sad?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “No.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “Would you be worried?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “Yes.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “What would you be worried about?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “I would be worried that he has something important to do.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Author: “You would be worried about the president?”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cinderella: “Yes.”

“I don’t need people around me who are not steady…and if there’s kind of a hand-wringing attitude going on when times are tough, I don’t like it.”

—GEORGE BUSH

Dead Wood

Bush Not Needed During The Attacks Says Press Secretary

President generally doesn’t enter game until third quarter X

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Given the fact that no one told the President’s traveling party that additional aircraft had been hijacked, I don’t know what difference it would have made had he left the room any earlier, other than perhaps to panic a frightened nation if his first reaction was suddenly to bolt from his chair and leave the room without any explanation. Under inconceivable pressure, Bush maintained his composure and sent an image of calm to the nation.” —ARI FLEISCHER “TAKING HEAT”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Radiating good vibes:

Bill Sammon says, “He [Bush] knew they were not transmitting images of him in real time, since this event had not been set up for a live feed.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Model of modesty:

George Bush is such a humble fellow—he actually refused to let anyone boast about his magnificent “chair sitting” performance for several years. The video wasn’t put on White House Web site, or even allowed in political TV ads—where the president chose to show bodies being removed from Ground Zero, rather than brag about how he miraculously calmed the nation on 9/11 without benefit of live television coverage.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Telepathic?

How did the Bush know that no one in the traveling party knew about more hijackings? Did he suddenly become perceptive? Pretty spooky.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Vice versa?

Nobody told the president’s traveling party that there weren’t more hijackings in progress.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Oracle of Sarasota:

Ari’s right—it would have made no difference if the president had left the classroom earlier. Even when Bush finally went to the holding room, he didn’t do anything to defend the country anyway.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Hello?

“Yes, hi…is this the FAA? Good. Say, the President of the United States wants to know what the hell is going on? Yes. I’ll hold. [two seconds pass] What? An un-known number of hijacked planes are still in the sky? Ok, thanks. Have a super nice day.”

XXX

Hypothetical History

In 640 B.C., the Spartan general Kolja “Curly” Diakoumis sat down on a big flat rock to project some strength and calm as his regiment was being overrun by a large band of pissed off Messeneans. Survivors of the battle found Curly’s head, with a serene expression on his face, three days later at a flea market.

Overheard in NY:

“Oh Sid, it’s awful hot in here, what with the building being on fire and all, but a chill just ran down my spine. I just know the president sprinted out of a room with no explanation. He could pull a muscle and possibly cause an embarrassing lull in the conversation. I’m really frightened and panicked now.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Barry Manilow:

Did the FAA put you on hold? Ask the Secret Service agents. Vice President Cheney said, “the Secret Service has an arrangement with the F.A.A. They had open lines after the World Trade Center was...” —MEET THE PRESS, SEPTEMBER 16, 2001

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Low IQ:

No bolting required, but nice try Ari. If Bush can’t outwit a group of second graders and leave a room without throwing the entire nation into turmoil, he may need to tweak his social skills a hair?

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

He was mesmerizing:

Name two people who were watching Bush sit on TV, while the towers burned. Write their names down and call the Secret Service immediately.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

What a hassle, man:

Pressure? Oh, please. Try standing on a ledge with a 1000-foot drop on one side and a fire on the other.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Pity:

Poor George. How could all those mean people expect him to do his job, him being so delicate and all.

Time Bandit X

Rove: President Left Classroom Within Moments

In less time than it takes to peruse some classified documents

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“And the President was a little—you know, he didn’t want to alarm the children. He knew the drill was coming to a close. So he waited for a few moments just too literally—not very long at all before he came to the close, and he came into the staff room which was literally located a short walk from the classroom. And he walked in.” —KARL ROVE

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Liar:

It was seven minutes.

The Patriot

President Allows Kids To Keep Reading

Interrupting children mid-sentence can trigger seizures—and acid reflux

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“I will always admire the President’s calm and self-control, allowing the kids to keep reading without his body or his words betraying the enormity of what he had just been told.” —ARI FLEISCHER “TAKING HEAT”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Ready to rumble:

Tough guy and reigning crochet champ Karl Rove said, “I don’t know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground, a side of the Pentagon destroyed, and almost 3,000 of our fellow citizens perish in flames and rubble.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Slim pickins:

Ari is pretty much forced to admire Bush for freezing up during a terrorist attack. What else is there?

XXX

“Remember Jerry. It’s not a lie, if you believe it.”

—GEORGE COSTANZA

Foursome!

In his book “Fighting Back,” Bill Sammon, shoots for a Medal of Freedom with four rationalizations for the presidential paralysis in one paragraph…

Sammon I:

Curse The Liberal Media For Their Damnable Possible Future Misinterpretations

President Worried About The Press

And not the garlic press this time, which he would rather not talk about

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“But there is no sense in rushing his exit. The press might interpret haste as distress.” —BILL SAMMON “FIGHTING BACK”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Phobic?

Fear of the press prevented Bush from acting? What a coincidence; fear of terrorists flying their plane into a building motivated the passengers on Flight 93 to fight their captors.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Sammon II:

Mr. Politically Correct

Bush Chooses Image Over Information

If anybody asks, it was a tough call

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Bush wondered whether he should excuse himself and retreat to the holding room, where he might be able to find out what was going on. But what kind of message would that send—the president abruptly getting up and walking out on a bunch of inner-city second graders at their moment in the national limelight.” —BILL SAMMON

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Race relations expert:
Inner-city? Code for black kids. If they had been white, presumably the president could have left to do his job without sending any “message.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Cool anecdote though:

The kids now have a swell story for their grandchildren. The country was under attack, but the president just sat there like a moron. “I like thought he was like going to stroke out or something.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Hallmark moment:

The millionaire Bush, with the government checkbook, could have made it up to the kids later [still can]. Maybe fly them all on Air Force One to his ranch and spend a week with the youngsters. But don’t touch the chainsaws, Johnny—those are important symbols of the president’s virility. The kids deserve something for being forced to sit there and watch him twitch.

He Read It Somewhere…Maybe On A Placemat

“I knew that if the nation’s under attack, the role of the

Commander-in-Chief is to respond forcefully

to prevent other attacks from happening.”

—GEORGE BUSH

Sammon III:

The Terrorists Would Win

Last Thing Nation Needed Was A Panicked President

Or more attacks—six of one and so forth—pretty much a wash

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Bush might look rattled, or worse, panicked. The last thing the nation needed at this moment was a panicked president. Such an image might even play into the hands of the attackers.” —BILL SAMMON “FIGHTING BACK”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Well, I never!

Panic the nation by leaving a room? How unrefined. What finishing school did George go to, anyway?

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Big bullies:

What the hell is Bill talking about? What would the terrorists do—stop the attacks and taunt the president for freaking out? The younger murderers can be so very cruel with their teasing…

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Bush, Bush, sat on his tush

When told of some killing

He found it too thrilling

And ran out of the room with a whoosh

No Actions Necessary At This Time

“I’ll say it for the third time—the Constitution vests in the

President as Commander in Chief

the authority to take actions he deems necessary to

protect and defend the United States.”

—ARI FLEISCHER SEPTEMBER 13, 2001

“Women—and I don’t mean to limit that to the biological sense—always become hysterical at the first sign of trouble. They have no capacity to solve problems, so instead they fret.”

—ANN COULTER

Sammon IV

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Miss Congeniality X

Demeanor Almost As Important As Actions, Senses President

That’s exactly what Ike told the boys before they hit the beaches at Normandy

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“No, better to remain calm and sit tight for now. Bush sensed his demeanor would be almost as important as his actions in these first crucial moments. ‘The real measure of a person is how he responds to bad news’ he had written in his memoirs.” —BILL SAMMON

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Omen:

It’s true. We saw the real measure of the man.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Time toady:

First crucial moments? I’m afraid those passed the president by like he was sitting still. The hijackings started nearly an hour ago at 8:14 am.

X X

No Demeanor Mentioned Here

We shall have the ability to respond rapidly and decisively to terrorism directed against us wherever it occurs, to protect Americans, arrest or defeat the perpetrators, respond with all appropriate instruments against the sponsoring organizations and governments and provide recovery relief to victims, as permitted by law.

—PRESIDENTIAL DIRECTIVE 39, 1995

The Man Who Wasn’t There

Chief Of Staff Explains Seven Minutes

It never happened

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“I pulled away from the president, and not that many seconds later, the president excused himself from the classroom, and we gathered in the holding room and talked about the situation.” —ANDREW CARD

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Body double:

The real George Bush left the room to do his job, while his stunt double, the guy who crashes the bikes and falls off Segways, sits in the classroom with a vacant look on his face.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Stopped watch:

It’s “Card Time” again. If 420 seconds isn’t that many, then Andrew Card isn’t a liar. The seven minutes, the time that Bush and his staff members with time pieces find so admirable, is completely written off by the Chief of Staff. How dare he minimize Bush’s noble contribution to the defense of our country? Who else would have taken the time to ponder what being under attack really truly meant before rashly trying to save lives? Who but George Bush would be talented enough to jump straight to the revenge stage without finishing the defense segment and flesh out the Bush Doctrine in his spare time? Seriously…who?

Vigorous Defense—Nothing About Facial Expression

It is the policy of the United States to deter, defeat and respond vigorously to all terrorist attacks on our territory and against our citizens, or facilities, whether they occur domestically, in international waters or airspace or on foreign territory.

—PRESIDENTIAL DIRECTIVE 39, 1995

Beat The Clock

President Leaves Classroom Shortly After 9:00 AM

Or, at 9:12 if you want to be picky

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Andy approached the President, whispered into his ear, with the press before and the children before him, about the crash of the second plane. The President had been intending to make remarks about the first plane in that session, but he decided to wait until he could ascertain additional information, given the fact now that it was not one, but two, crashes, which was an immediate indication, of course, of the serious nature of this suggesting terrorism.”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Then, as you know, the President returned to his hold, received additional information from Dr. Rice. Information was still very sketchy at that point—this is shortly after 9:00 a.m. And then the President proceeded—the decision was made by the President that he would go and speak to the nation about what transpired. You have the record of that. And then the President immediately departed for the airport.” —ARI FLEISCHER SPEAKING TO THE PRESS ON 9/11

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Time flies:

Fleischer magically wipes out 30 minutes.

Plot Wasn’t Thick Enough

Bush Sat Idly

Still getting handle on people showing up without a proper invite—or money

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“I would never sit idly if I had known what was coming on September 11! Had I known about the plot I would have used the whole force and fury of the United States to stop them.” —GEORGE BUSH “THE LEADERSHIP GENIUS OF GEORGE W. BUSH”

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Duh:

Even if he couldn’t figure out the plot after the first attack, it was obvious after the second crash that plowing airliners into buildings was the plan, and yet the president still doesn’t use force or fury. Fighter jets were summoned to protect his hide on Air Force One, but Bush didn’t lift a finger to defend anyone else.

Fewer Minds Than You Think

“In the first few hours, I think the thing that was on everybody’s mind

was, how many more planes are coming?”

—CONDI RICE

America Well Manicured Before GW

“Prior to September 11, all his [bin Laden] attacks had occurred during the era of Bill Clinton, who never responded forcefully. Indeed, American back then seemed averse to getting their fingernails dirty.” —BILL SAMMON

The Camera Adds 7 Minutes To Everyone

Morris Understands

He’s been there, man

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“And I think that when Bush is criticized for those 7 minutes, those were on camera minutes. Listen, if 9/11 happened and Bush were in the Oval Office and he were alone and not on camera, and Card walked in and gave him a note and said another plane hit the towers, America’s under attack, and he sat in his chair in the Oval Office staring into the distance for 7 minutes, get that man out of there. But on camera, under-reacting, not panicking, reassuring the country by his presence, by his stability, not causing mass panic—I really understand that.” —DICK MORRIS

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

What’s a girl to do?

There’s only one solution. Keep Bush locked up so he won’t cause a national panic by leaving a room.

Out Of My Head Hopelessly Devoted To Yoooou!

Coulter: Some People Too Picky About Defense

They get so melodramatic about every little attack on the country

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“I would like liberals to explain to me what they think George Bush should have done—you know, run out of the classroom, rip open his shirt: Let the bullets hit me first! They’re so childlike. For one thing, we didn’t know what was going on. It was very public where the president was. The school has to be secured. You have to get Air Force One ready. Where are the terrorists? They’re in air space, they’re in the skies, all of this has to be secured, the school has to be secured. What’s he going to do? Make a pay phone call? Call from his cell phone to Dick Cheney? He is the President of the United States, we don’t need a presidential assassination in that 7 minutes. I’m quite sure the Secret Service wouldn’t have let him run out and run around the school or do whatever liberals think he should be doing.” —ANN COULTER

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

· No running in the halls or outside. And, stay off the monkey bars—they’re pretty sticky.

· No shirt tearing—wearing old “I Got Stoned With Thurgood Marshall” undershirt.

· No bullet taking; except for anonymous unimportant Secret Service guys or Clint Eastwood.

· Secure the school; be sure to lock doors so suicide planes can’t get in.

· Get Air Force One gassed up—check the oil this time, Irv!

· Secure air space—call Air Force guys when we have time.

· No pay phones. Use the secure phones in the holding room unless you want to waste a ton of quarters like last time.

· No cell phones—we sure don’t want this circus showing up on tape.

· Call Cheney (screw Rumsfeld—what an asshole).

· No getting assassinated, no matter how glamorous it sounds at the moment.

Civil Servant

President’s Job Is Not To Run Fire Department Explains Morris

He always gets everyone wet, anyway—or killed

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“And when we criticize George Bush, we are really asking him to be superhuman. When you’re confronted with something like that, in the first few minutes, you just watch and absorb it. And let’s also understand that he’s the President of the United States. He’s not an emergency worker. His job is not to run the fire department or the police department. His job is to be president.” —DICK MORRIS

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Dick’s right:

I mean a suck-up.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Kicked upstairs:

The military—Bush gets to run that, though, right?

All Puckered Up And Ready For Duty, Sir!

King: President Waiting For Staff To Find Out What Happened

Evidently, the congressman has never met Bush’s staff

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“There was nothing he could have done at that moment. He was waiting for his staff to find out what happened. Once that was done, he got up and calmly walked out. On all accounts he was on the phone immediately with the vice president, with Condoleeza Rice, with cabinet officials, directing what had to be done, in full command.” —PETER KING

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Weak stomach:

Nothing could be done—that’s the spirit. Rockets red glare, indeed.

Loose Lips

If Bush Talks, More Attacks Are Launched

Or if he goes under 50 mph in a bus

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

“Bush was probably sitting there saying to himself, I don’t want to say anything that makes more of these attacks possible.” —DICK MORRIS

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Probably:

That’s not what Bush said he was thinking, but if Dick wants to call him a liar—it’s a good possibility.

9:12 AM

The Commander-in-Chief leaves the classroom and enters the holding room at the Booker Elementary School.

Review

9:05-9:12 AM

At 9:03 am, United Airlines Flight 175 crashes into the South Tower of the World Trade Center on live television.

At 9:05 am, the Chief of Staff decides telling the president about an ongoing attack on the country is the right thing to do. It took him two minutes to figure that one out.

Reasons Commander-in-Chief stays in classroom for another 7 minutes:

1. Bush didn’t want to scare the kids.

2. Bush needed to project strength and calm.

3. Bush was avoiding assassination.

4. Bush was waiting for more information.

5. Bush was waiting until he could better understand what was going on.

6. Bush wasn’t needed.

7. Bush didn’t want to frighten the nation.

8. Bush didn’t want to play into the hands of the terrorists.

9. Bush didn’t want to give the media the wrong impression.

10. Bush thought more attacks would be triggered if he moved.

11. Bush felt that his demeanor was more important than taking action.

12. Bush didn’t know of the other hijackings.

13. Bush knew he needed to do something, but didn’t know what it was.

14. Bush needed to ponder the 50’s and 60’s when the only fear was nuclear annihilation.

15. Bush didn’t want to offend black people.

16. Bush needed to ponder the meaning of being under attack.

17. Bush needed to plan revenge and develop the Bush doctrine.

18. Bush was stunned.

19. Bush didn’t want to panic the nation.

20. Bush was absorbing the information.

21. Bush wasn’t allowed to run around.

22. Bush was waiting for the school to be secured.

23. Bush was waiting for Air force One to be readied.

However, Andy Card said Bush actually left the room within seconds and Karl Rove maintained that Bush literally left the room within moments. They lied.

Meanwhile, during the 7 minutes of presidential immobility…

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Vice President Cheney meets with his staff. They talk about getting a task force together and also start to figure out what to do.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Condi Rice adjourns a staff meeting and convenes with Cheney.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Donald Rumsfeld, aka the Secretary of Defense, continues with an intelligence briefing.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

An unknown number of hijacked commercial airliners are in the air.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

The Air Force has scrambled jets to intercept hijacked planes, yet no order has been given from the president to shoot down suicide airliners before they reach populated areas. Bush maintains he was not told about and was unable to find out about other hijacked planes until some point after his 9:30 am television statement.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Thousands of New Yorker’s rush to the World Trade Center to assist with the rescue operations. Some Trade Center occupants are trapped above the fire and others find escape routes blocked. Some people caught between fire and great heights opt to jump.

George Bush 9/11 Legacy "Miserable Failure"

Fearing more attacks, New York officials start evacuating landmark buildings and other possible terrorist targets like bridges and tunnels. People in Washington D.C. buildings, including the White House and Pentagon are not evacuated.